Welcome to Day 53 of 365 Moments of Clarity Project
Forgiveness is a big word. There are people who you forgive daily for small things that really don’t need forgiveness but more understanding. I cannot recall in this moment a time when someone has hurt me beyond measure and yet I still forgave them. I have been blessed in this life. My ego has protected me well. If I feel hurt, I usually just walk away. I do not get even. I simply leave the situation I deem no longer important or serving in my life.
When I started this relationship series, I started it because of a situation with my mother. That situation is still going on. In the midst of writing today, my mind is going back and forth on forgiveness and non-forgiveness.
Deepak said something very important in today’s meditation.
“The ego moves us to seek justice or revenge, to right a perceived wrong. The higher self, however, knows that the universe will rebalance all actions at the appropriate time in the appropriate way in accord with the whole cosmos, not just the view of one person’s hurt feelings. When you forgive, you are allowing that process to unfold instead of holding on to your ego’s point of view.”
I think embracing these words are so important. Instead of trying to punish someone for something you perceive is wrong, embrace the idea that your higher self knows to let go the wrongs to the universe and trust the universe will send you greater gifts. It is a practice. It may come very easy to some and to others more difficult. I am of the latter group. I hold high the value of respect and when someone disrespects me, I simply cut them out of my life. However, this has rarely happened in my life. I can count on one hand the people I have decided didn’t resonate with who I am as a human being in this life.
There is a part of me who believes that all experiences are as they are supposed to be. That nothing needs forgiveness but instead acceptance. I believe that within acceptance there is an unspoken forgiveness. I wonder if this is my mechanism to bypass something that seems so difficult for me to understand. It is a conundrum that I am sure I will revisit many times over my lifetime.
Ask yourself today, What is the difference between acceptance and forgiveness? I would love to read people’s comments so that I may learn and grow in this concept. Thank you.
Day 20 of Miraculous Relationships
“Is there someone in your life you that you have not forgiven? In many cases, the person we most need to forgive is ourselves. Today have the intention to practice forgiveness. Encourage even the slightest hints of forgiveness, release, and compassion. If feelings of hurt and anger arise, tell yourself, I am willing to see this situation with love. I am willing to let go. Be gentle and patient with yourself as you hold the intention to heal and forgive.”
My Journal Entries for Day 20
Can you recall an experience in which you were able to forgive someone? What gifts did you receive in forgiving?
At this moment I am learning to forgive my mother for lying and disrespecting me. I am giving my hurt up to the universe and letting go. The gift I am receiving is freedom from worry, freedom from the stress in not understanding why a mother would do this to her daughter and freedom to move towards a more trusting and faithful life that all is well and perfectly balanced just as it is.
Simply writing this makes me smile.
Is there someone you need to forgive in your life? If you are resisting forgiving that person, write about how it will feel to gently release the burden of judgment. What will it feel like to have this open space in your body, mind and spirit? Take your time with this exploration.
I used to resist forgiving my ex for not loving me. But all that did was stop me from loving myself. When I gave it up, when I realized that if it was truly meant to be, it would have been, then I was able to truly let go and develop a self love that went beyond what anyone could give me. I recently read a quote from Byron Katie. She said, “If you want to see the love of your life, look in the mirror.”
Now I look in the mirror everyday and cannot help to smile. I love who I am, what I am, where I came from and where I am going. I love everything about me,the good, the bad, the ugly. Everything you search for in someone else, you can find within you.
This is the purpose of forgiveness.
My mother couldn’t have disrespected me, if I didn’t disrespect myself first. My mother couldn’t lie to me, if I had not lied to myself first. I blindly trusted when I knew in my heart of hearts that what I was about to do wasn’t a good idea. I trusted because I wanted to trust. The lesson didn’t teach me not to trust, it taught me to listen to my instincts, my intuition before making a decision against it, even if it was for a loved one.
I am letting go of all hurt today. I desire to fill this spot with true love so that I may experience life opening to the flow of qi.
If the person you need to forgive is yourself, consider writing yourself a letter from the perspective of your true Self, offering compassion and forgiveness.
Good Exercise. Do I need to forgive myself? Maybe for holding on to something that was unserving. Yet does this need forgiveness or simply understanding and acceptance? If I feel that I don’t need to forgive myself, am I lying to myself? Am I hiding something that I cannot see or blocking a thought because it is too painful to see?
I think I will work on this with my life coach. At this time, I don’t feel I need to forgive myself for anything. Since I am firm on my belief that experience is for a reason, I feel very comfortable in saying that I accept who I am. Acceptance doesn’t need forgiveness because in acceptance is a natural and unspoken forgiveness.
If you feel drawn to share your story, I am always blessed to receive it. Namaste.